Love today’s episode and think it’s a must listen!
If you would much rather read, it’s below buuuut I think listening to me is way more fun haha.
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How were choosing to spend our time online is more important than people think.
Whether it’s in groups or on threads that have to do with politics or anything else for that matter, so many people are spending time arguing with each other. And sure some instances are justified for example I’m in (or was in) a group where they discuss and point out copy shop businesses that are basically taking the designs of others. While some of those arguments are justified (if you have TM or copyright protection), some of them are not.
And so many people spend their time arguing back-and-forth on threads about things that ultimately are going to do anything but cause you undue stress. Imagine what could happen if for instance in these copy groups if these women took their time instead of being on the thread and arguing over an item spend that time on their business itself coming up with new products advertising marketing and interacting with a customer, whatever the case that time would be better spent on something actually productive. I actually got kicked out of said group for saying this exact thing. About stopping the cattiness and instead using that energy elsewhere.
In this social society we fall into the routine thinking that we need to put our two cents into everything on the Internet whether it’s on Instagram or commenting on Facebook for a thread and or getting into these arguments when in reality you’re not doing anybody else any good you’re arguing more often than not with strangers on the Internet and you’re more than likely not going to change one person’s opinion on the Internet by arguing.
So this time spent doing that could be better spent elsewhere. This energy that you’re expelling on these things would be so much better if it were directed towards your business towards product development, Towards marketing towards interacting with your customer or just bettering your business as a whole. Take a course. Go to a conference do anything that would instead better your business versus continuing this cycle of stress from a stranger in a Facebook group.
This goes along the lines with my belief that you can 100% curate the world around you. It’s social media after all. You can choose to be a part of it, or not. You can also choose what you see in your daily life or not see. Every social media platform gives YOU the ability to curate your feed, curate what brings you joy, curate what brings you stress, curate who’s life you keep up with, or none of the above.
Before I fell into the “I don’t want to unfriend them, they’ll be mad at me.” this was around the same time I was hyper-focused on if people unsubscribed or not.
Now, the unfriend button is my friend. It allows me to remove toxic people from my view every day. Maybe you still want to be friends but not see their shit, luckily FB has mute buttons and unfollow. If you remain friends and unfollow, you won’t see their shit until you go to their page. Instagram, just unfollow or mute their stories. It’s unlikely they’ll notice you unfollowed. Remove that toxicity. If someone leaves an asshole troll comment, don’t be afraid to just block them, delete it and move on. I used to get caught up in the want to respond and set them straight but honestly, it’s done sooo much for my peace of mind to not say anything and simply block and delete a troll.
I also think this goes along with a much bigger idea of life that I have and the idea of checking your fucks and giving none. There are so many things we give too many fucks about. Like arguing with people in FB groups, or on social media posts, like it will do a damn thing besides leaving each person stressed out for no fucking reason. People give too many fucks about what others are doing with their lives, their businesses, their bodies, etc. In turn, you care tooooo fucking much what people think about you.
So I wanted to give you a top 10 of fucks you should STOP giving starting today.
#1 – What Other People Think
Stop giving a fuck what other people think. People will always judge what you do, what you look like, what you dress like, etc. It’s how you handle it that matters. How I handle it? Ignore it. I don’t fucking care what people think of what I look like, how I dress, what I do with my life, etc. This one will lift a heavy weight off your shoulders.
#2 – Having the perfect body.
This falls back to what others think. That has caused you to not like certain things about your body. Here’s the deal, no matter what fucking size you are, you’re perfect. Period. No matter what your skin color, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, etc. You’re perfect. Period. Fuck anyone else’s opinion that doesn’t make you feel that way.
#3 – The Past
Stop giving a fuck about what happened in the past. This goes for all things because you can’t change any of it so why let it have any sort of hold on your life.
#4 – Toxic people.
REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY! Whether it’s on social media or in your real life. Those bitches have got to goooooo. It will do nothing but suck your energy and drive for anything else in life. Get rid of them. Now.
#5 – Failing.
Stop fucking caring about failing or thinking about it. I don’t ever think I’ll fail. I will be around forever. I will still have a brand 20 years from now. Because what does thinking about failing do for you? And I’m not talking about the small failures along the road, the learning moments, etc. I’m talking about epic failure. I don’t think about it. The small ones, embrace them, learn from them, pick your ass up and keep fucking going.
#6 – Going out or doing anything when you don’t want to.
We all at some point have fallen into the “Yea sure let’s do it” when asked to go out on whatever night. Sometimes you don’t want to. Or maybe you’re an introvert and never want to because of social anxiety. Maybe barhopping isn’t your thing, don’t do it. Stop saying yes when you should and CAN say no.
#7 – Pandering for likes and shit on social media.
Here’s the thing, here’s why my brand and social and such has been successful thus far, AUTHENTICITY. I don’t tell my followers/customers anything that isn’t true. I tell my story. I tell them shit I hate. Shit that drives me nuts. I call out social issues I stand up for. I call out shit that I think shouldn’t be happening. I create products that fall in line with my truth. But trying to create a perfect internet persona, trying to be perfect, all for the likes is bullshit. Just be your fucking self. It may take a little longer but I guarantee you’ll actually build something worth having.
#8 – Stop giving fucks about what other people have.
I can’t stress this enough. In this world, we see all these things people have (or at least look like they have on social) and we yearn for that. STOP IT. Put your goals on board or paper always in view. YOUR goals. Not what you think you want because what others have. Here’s the deal, we’re all at different stages in our lives and our careers. What I have, someone else doesn’t. And plenty of people have shit I don’t have. That’s OK. All of our goals, wants, and desires are different and they should be. Focus on your own shit. Stay in your own lane. Keep your head down and your eyes on YOUR goals.
#9 – Regretting things.
This one. One of my top favorite songs is No Day But Today from Rent the musical and movie.
It says “There’s only us, there’s only this, Forget regret, or life is your’s to miss, No other path, no other way, No day but today. There’s only us, only tonight, We must let go to know what’s right, No other road, No other way, No day but today.“
I can’t tell you how much I love it. I even have a graphic print of it in my living room. I even have it tattooed on my side, along with a big pink Gerber daisy which is a memorial tattoo to my second mama, Lisa, my best friends mom who passed away. It felt more than perfect for it. Why I love it so much is because of the truth it holds.
You have this moment in life to make a decision to live life for you, to do what you want, to go after your dreams, to love who you love, to do whatever the fuck it is you want to do. If you don’t, you’ll miss it. If you choose to simply get by, you’ll miss all opportunity. Today. This moment is your chance. YOU and only you have the ability to decide how this moment goes. You seize it, you plan, you crush it. Or you don’t. I prefer the first option. I want to hold my life and my opportunity in my hands. I regret zero choices I’ve made in my past because they’ve gotten me here. I have zero regrets for the choices I’m making currently because I know that I am in control of what comes.
#10 – Stop giving fucks about timelines.
Your age is fucking irrelevant. If you want to get married at 50, start a company at 65 or 18, or have a baby at 40. By all means, go after whatever the fuck it is you want out of life. Stop paying attention to societal constructs of timelines and create your own path. Your own life. After all, it’s only yours to live.
We’ve been conditioned to be too afraid to speak up and speak out, too afraid to wear that short skirt that makes us feel amazing, too afraid to not like the things everyone else does, too afraid to go after our dreams, and frankly just too afraid. I think now more than ever it’s SO important to be ourselves, to be loud, to speak up for what we believe in, to speak out against those things we don’t, and to just be your own normal.
I truly hope that this gave you a slap on the ass to realize what is and what isn’t important. How you’re spending your days, or not and what you need to change. I hope it inspires you to give less fucks and relieve yourself of the stresses that have been placed upon you thus far. I have and let me tell you, life is way more fucking fun. So start today. Do something you’ve been wanting to do but too scared of because of how people may react. Dye your hair, get that tattoo, quit that job you hate, post something controversial. Whatever you do, just be yourself. I promise your life will become far less stressful.